Winter is cold and snowy, say specialists

Photo by Denis Jacquerye

Scientists who specialize in weather patterns have determined that winter is cold and snowy.

“Brrr,” said Evan Gorton, a professor of meteorology from Minneapolis. “Man, it’s freezing this morning. What’s the temperature?”

“Yup, thought so — minus sixteen,” he said after checking the thermometer that hangs outside his window, an activity he’s done for the past 20 years. “Winter is really cold.”

Christina Ortega, a meteorologist at WPRI-12 in Rhode Island, measured the depth of water crystals that had accumulated outside the television studio.

“Snow,” she said. “It’s eight inches of snow. Wow, it has snowed every winter for as long as I can remember. Winter is snowy.”

The National Weather Service has issued a statement to inform the public that low temperatures are snowfall are normal this time of year. In fact, winterlike conditions offer reassurance that Earth is tilting on its axis, just as it’s supposed to.