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What does ISIS really want? What these fighters say may surprise you.

December 7, 2015

While the media focus on atrocities committed by ISIS, few people are asking this question: what do ISIS fighters really want? Dandy Goat correspondent Abu Batsheet Quazi spent a few days in the Islamic State to find out.

What does ISIS really want? I want to raise awareness of [rare blood disorder] Wiskott-Aldrich Syndrome, in the hopes that we can get more funding to find a cure.

-Abdullah, 28

What does ISIL really want?

A giant swimming pool full of Lucky Charms marshmallows

-Abu, 19

What does IS really want?

I wish my granny and mom would start talking again.

-Shaykh, 26

What does Daesh really want?

To be able to spend lots of time with my new best friend, Jamal

-Majed, 37 (left) pictured with Jamal, 38 (right)

What does the Islamic State really want?

Corrective eye surgery

-Hassan, 54

Why do people join ISIS?

I want my troops to stop braying like donkeys whenever I give orders.

-Fariq, 34

Why do people join Daesh?

A proper mix table — that would be wicked, innit?

-Mahmod, 27

What do people who join ISIL really want?

I don’t want these good times to ever end.

-Uday, 18

Why do people join the Islamic State?

I ain’t saying, because then I might get my head lopped off.

-Malik, 21

ISIS fighter with camera

Instructions for this Canon EOS Rebel T5i camera that I nabbed from a kidnapped journalist

-Nizar, 32

*Note: photos used without permission from Dabiq, the Islamic State’s magazine for the “modern, urbane jihadi.”

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