Saying that drastic situations call for drastic measures, President Donald Trump has ordered the Clorox company to drop more than 16 million gallons of bleach on the White House.
“This is going to be the greatest mass sanitization of the executive mansion in American history,” he said late Thursday night to Chief Usher Timothy Harleth, following revelations that dozens more staff had tested positive for COVID-19. “No world leader will ever top this.”
“And it’ll be a boon for the Clorox company,” he added. “One of the great American manufacturers of bleach and bleach products.”
All night long, residents of Washington D.C. reported hearing an aircraft, later confirmed to be the company’s DC-10 Bleach Force One, passing over the White House and conducting airdrops.
By 5 a.m. early risers began reporting that the area around the White House smelled like “swimming pool sanitation gone haywire” and that much of the White House lawn had been turned white.