The Dandy Goat’s top 10 stories of 2013

Despite the thousands of stories we’ve published this year (okay, 184 to be precise), we’ve narrowed down a list of the top 10 stories of the second half of 2013. Why only the second half? The first half was what those of us in the news industry call “a dead period” —  when nothing, and we mean nothing at all, happens. That’s also why The Dandy Goat wasn’t launched until the end of June.

Here are the top 10 stories:

10. Princess dress-up game ends after two years

princess“I’ve had a lovely time,” said the commoner named Catherine who, for two magical years, went by the name Princess Kate. “My most favorite thing was when I got to meet the queen. She smiled and told me I was the prettiest girl in the whole kingdom.”

hitchens 9. Church of Atheism Canonizes Hitchens

“Christopher Hitchens was a god — if I may use the expression,” said Jamie Blanton, 39, a Minneapolis-area atheist. “I’ve read all of his books and watched pretty much every interview he ever gave. I was lost before he came into my life.”

universe 8. 6-year-old scientists determine the universe is about six years old

The kindergarteners say they are pretty sure that both Earth and the universe are “between five to seven years old.” Some kindergarteners are even suggesting the universe is about three years old, since all memories of events before 2010 are “kinda fuzzy.”

obama_family2 7. Family with 17 trillion dollars of debt pleased to get new line of credit

According to their neighbors, the Obermans are a great family who have simply fallen into 17,000,000,000,000 dollars of debt, just like so many other families.

 6. World leaders at Mandela memorial criticized for taking selfies at wild after-party

A spokesperson for Prime Minister David Cameron said the photograph was “taken out of context” and that the Prime Minister “has the utmost respect for South Africa in its time of mourning — it was just that [Venezuelan President] Nicolas Maduro had challenged him to a rum-drinking contest, and things got hazy afterwards.”

obama_partyClick here to see the top 5

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