Seth Keating’s amazing transformation occurred on Thursday afternoon, moments after the 27-year-old read on Upworthy that displaying the small metal item on your clothes makes you a champion for the rights of threatened minorities.
Keating found a safety pin in an office first-aid kit and attached it to his button-up shirt. He then sauntered to the kitchen to wash a mug and was met with gasps from coworkers. Two employees of the digital marketing firm Ampersand fainted while at least one intern shouted, “Speak to us, Dr. King.”
Trailed by now cheering supporters, Keating paraded to the senior manager’s office, where he proclaimed that, “No human being, regardless of race, ethnicity, or creed, should be held in such low regard as to have to produce vapid articles about integrated marketing day after day.”
News of the miracle quickly spread via social media, and within an hour thousands of members of threatened minority groups had gathered in front of the West 39th Street office building, hoping to receive Keating’s touch, which by then was said to heal almost any affliction.
Unfortunately, however, the sudden responsibility of acting as protector for so many frightened people was too great, and Keating suffered a nervous breakdown and was placed in psychiatric care.
“He just wanted to show that he was an ally — for racial minorities, members of the LGBTQ community, former Miss America contestants — for anyone who feels threatened by a Trump presidency,” said girlfriend Rachel Wood, herself a graphic designer at Ampersand. “He didn’t know a cheap gesture would turn him into the most iconic civil rights figure since Moses, and those are pretty large shoes to fill.”
Staff at Mount Sinai St. Luke’s say that Keating is recovering, but that he has not come to terms with having aged significantly, changed skin color, and become a Baptist minister. They do note, however, that he is enjoying his newly discovered talent for oratory and that he hopes to someday write speeches for Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.).
By Friday, a Change.org petition calling for November 17 to be dubbed National Seth Keating Day had received 394,000 digital signatures. At least one marble statue of Keating had been erected in an elementary school in Maine, and the U.S. Postal Service had announced plans to put the former online content manager on next month’s 47-cent stamp.
So inspired by the example set by her boyfriend of 14 months, Wood also began wearing a safety pin on the patchwork coat she bought on Etsy. She has consequently morphed into a cross between Rosa Parks and Harvey Milk, according to friends.