Revealed: Kerry obliged to hand over lunch money in Iranian nuclear accord


Revealed: Kerry obliged to hand over lunch money in Iranian nuclear accordShocking new details of last year’s controversial nuclear accord between the Obama Administration and Iran have been revealed to the Dandy Goat, fueling outrage over what is widely viewed as a humiliating defeat for the United States.

Many critics already considered the deal to be a blow to U.S. prestige in the Middle East, a conviction only reinforced by Iran’s seizure in January of U.S. naval personnel who were shown in TV images on their knees at gunpoint with their arms raised.

But newly emerging details reveal the depths of the personal humiliation to Secretary of State John Kerry, who had hoped to win a Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to build bridges with the Iranian regime.

A little-known subparagraph of the treaty states that in addition to unfreezing billions of dollars in frozen Iranian assets and agreeing to lift sanctions on the terror-sponsoring mullahs, Kerry will have to hand over his lunch money to Iranian diplomats when they are in New York for U.N. meetings.

Every morning before he leaves his Washington mansion or New York penthouse apartment, Kerry’s wife, the billionaire heiress Teresa Heinz, kisses her husband on the forehead and gives him $1,000 for his midday meal, but he is known to spend the money on extravagant sweets such as caviar-flavored gumballs, chocolate-covered truffles, and champagne lollipops.

But now when he arrives for business at the U.N., he has to run a gauntlet of waiting Iranian diplomats and staffers. Last week, Mr. Kerry was given a wedgie by two members of the Iranian delegation to the U.N. Human Rights Committee when all he was able to produce from his pockets were a few crumpled twenty-dollar bills and a wrapper from a bar of caramel-coated foie gras.

Sources close to Teresa Heinz say that some mornings her husband doesn’t want to go to work, and that she often has to drive him herself in one of their fleet of SUVs, walking him to the doors of the U.N. headquarters in Manhattan where he’s escorted in tears into the building by staffers despite his efforts to cling to his wife.

“Those Persian boys have no right to be so cruel to my sweet little Johnny,” Heinz said, according to an article about bullying published in Parenting Today magazine. “If they don’t knock it off, I’m going to talk to [U.N. Secretary General] Ban Ki-moon and see if he can’t have them all sit down and discuss their problems.”

State Department spokesgirl Marie Harf refused to comment on the allegations or take any questions from reporters. She was believed to be upset after female Iranian Embassy staff pulled her hair at a diplomatic reception and said Harf couldn’t be their friend because she was an infidel whore.

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