SAN FRANCISCO — A California-based hairstylist revealed to be a foreign agent has confirmed that U.S. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, who was recorded not wearing a mask while getting a haircut, was the victim of an elaborate international setup.
Zohan Dvir, now known to be Agent Zohan of the Israeli intelligence service Mossad, admitted to DNC investigators that eSalon, which released the damning video footage this week, was created by Mossad with the sole purpose of ensnaring Pelosi.
“We built this salon more than three years ago with no other goal than to one day embarrass Pelosi, a senior Democratic politician and increasingly vocal critic of Israel, during a pandemic of some type of airborne pathogen,” Dvir said in a strong, almost comical Israeli accent. “It seemed far-fetched at the time, but our hard work has paid off.”
“Haha,” he added.
The setup required years of patience, Dvir says, slowly building up a reputation as the sort of salon where an 80-year-old millionaire and well-known figure might be able to skirt the rules without fear of public shaming.
“When I was first assigned to this role, I didn’t know the first thing about being a coiffure,” Dvir said. “Now I’m a master stylist, a veritable Matisse of women’s hair.”
Neither Dvir, Mossad, nor the Israeli government have apologized for setting Pelosi up, and they are insisting that she did receive an excellent styling at a bargain rate.