Our team consists only of men. We’d like to have women write for us, really. It’s just that we’re so cash-strapped that we’d only be able to pay them 77 cents for every dollar the rest of us earn.
Franklin J. Dubbles
Franklin J. Dubbles is the great-great-great grandson of Nathaniel Dubbles, founder of The Dandy Goat of New England.
Franklin is a prominent dresser and lifelong traveller. During his youth, he moved frequently around the East Coast, as his father’s shady business deals kept the family on the go. Nevertheless, Franklin was enrolled in sixteen of the finest private schools where he developed a fondness for ideas and culture. He settled in San Francisco for six months to study art criticism before departing on a tour of Europe that would last many years.
During his travels, Franklin became acquainted with people whose fiery intellects, angled wits, and disavowal of their cultures far surpassed what he was accustomed to in the United States. He swore that one day he would bring The Dandy Goat of New England back to life as a news and culture website that might help usher Americans out of the tarry darkness to which they are heirs. He would show them new, better ideas, and he would fight tooth and nail to make certain that Americans could progress, in spite of themselves.
In 2013, he made good on his promise.
As publisher, Franklin J. Dubbles is the heart, soul and gallbladder of The Dandy Goat. He represents The Dandy Goat in official functions. He is also in charge of ad sales.
Because Richard chronically loitered on the premises of The Dandy Goat, Franklin took the unbathed fellow aside to offer him money to find another place to make camp. However, Franklin became engrossed in Richard’s storied life and he invited the transient inside for coffee.
Having defaulted on dozens of student loans taken out in the noble pursuit of knowledge, Richard too had become a traveller, but of a street variety. Richard’s curriculum vitae was just what Franklin was looking for: academic, debtor, Occupy Wall Street protester and recovering addict. Franklin offered him an unpaid internship with The Dandy Goat: the opportunity of a lifetime.
Although Richard is still obliged to sleep in a tent in the parking lot, he continually proves himself to be a vital — if small — part of The Dandy Goat, and he’s surely got a bright future ahead of him.
Richard is the only full-time writer at The Dandy Goat. His positions also include editor, graphic designer, IT specialist, photographer, webmaster, fact checker, janitor and administrative assistant. Because he slept with a pre-law student in 2001, he will also become in-house counsel should The Dandy Goat ever face legal action.
Ichabod F.N. Herstal
Mr. Herstal has been writing intermittently for the Dandy Goat since April of 2014, but so far he has refused to provide us with a bio. Based on his curious accent and insistence on inserting an unnatural “u” into words like “color” and “glamor,” we’ll assume he attended a fancy boys’ school in the English countryside, and that he is a loyal reader of the Guardian, named the U.K.’s “top newspaper for smug bastards” three years in a row.
Sam S. Pammer
Sam is our indefatigable volunteer from Bangalore who scours the World Wide Web in search of real news articles to which he leaves a tiny morsel of bait to lure readers to our own humble offerings to the marketplace of ideas. He’s been accused of being a troll and a spammer, but these charges are unfounded. Sam is more like a link enthusiast.
We advocate the notion that the internet is a grand place for the free flow of information and ideas. To that end, we sometimes allow members of the community to write guest columns about a topic of our choosing, using our words in whatever order we find most pleasing.