Obama visits US-Mexico border

ALBURG SPRINGS, Vt. — Bowing to pressure from both Republicans and Democrats in Congress, President Obama agreed to visit the United States border.

The move comes amid increased calls from members of his own party who say the porous border is being overrun by unsustainable numbers of illegal immigrants — particularly unaccompanied minors — from Latin America. The influx has created what some observers are calling a humanitarian crisis because the hundreds of thousands of young immigrants have little in terms of food, water, accommodation or electronics like cell phones.

“I read in the newspaper that some folks are talking about a bunch of children illegally entering the country, but I just don’t see that being true,” Obama said during a two-hour tour given by several members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. “In fact, it sure looks dead quiet around here.”

“That goes to show what’s peas to one person, is potatoes to another,” he added.

Obama did agree with his vocal critics in the GOP that security at the border was rather lax, stating he had personally witnessed at least a dozen local residents crossing with nothing more than a wave and a smile.