NAACP hires replacement for disgraced Spokane president

Race imposter Rachel Dolezal, left, will be replaced by black civil rights activist Kingsley Hollingsworth Ivory, right.

The NAACP has found a replacement for Rachel Dolezal, the disgraced president of the Spokane chapter who is facing allegations that she lied about being African-American, according to a press release from the 100-year-old organization.

“We will not stand for imposters who try to pass for black and appropriate blackness for their own personal gain,” said Corny Brooks, the organization’s CEO. “We are hereby removing Mrs. Dolezal from her post and replacing her with Mr. Kingsley Hollingsworth Ivory, a young but highly successful civil rights activist.”

According to his LinkedIn profile, Ivory grew up in New Hampshire and is a member of one of the state’s founding families. After serving as treasurer of his college preparatory school’s African-American advocacy club, Ivory went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in Africana studies from Sarah Lawrence College.

“I may be fair-skinned and often mistaken for an albino Swede who’s spent the last year hiding in an ice cave, but I consider myself to be 110 percent black,” Ivory said. “While my peers in school were listening to Vanilla Ice and emulating white icons like Andre Agassi and Meg Ryan, I was attracted to primarily to black culture and music, especially Luther Vandross and Salt-N-Pepa.”

“At home, I would fight with me sisters to be able to watch BET, Montel Williams and ‘In Living Color,’” he said. “Sure, I attended a mostly white school where I was forced by my parents to play lacrosse and learn the violin, but I never fit in. On a daily basis, I faced discrimination for my transracial identity choices.”

Rosie Toole, who leads the NAACP’s Office of Awkward Affairs, says that she hopes that the media will now stop focusing on the race row.

“Let’s all simmer down and get back to work,” Toole said. “Mr. Ivory is black.”