My fetus will be starting kindergarten

myfetusby Liz Durham

I can’t believe how fast time goes. It seems like only yesterday that I took the pregnancy test. And now, six years later, my little fetus is starting kindergarten.

I knew I was pregnant right away. I could feel it, so taking the test was a formality, so that I could show it to David. He wanted to drink a bottle of champagne with me. “Oh no,” I said. “The fetus won’t like that.”

It’s funny, but it’s hard to remember all the details about a pregnancy. It seems like such a long time, nine months. There are all sorts of discomforts caused by the fetus. You get morning sickness. Bloated. Cranky. Uncomfortable. Then really uncomfortable. Oh, and you have to pee all the time. Then one day, the fetus is born and you forget all those bad things.

I’ll never forget when my fetus looked into my eyes after its birth. What a look! As if to say: give me a name.

That first year isn’t easy, let me tell you. If you breastfeed, you’ll see that the fetus wants to eat all the time, whenever it feels like it. Some nights my little fetus woke me up four, five or even six times. We were so deprived of sleep, I thought David and I would kill each other.

Despite that, there are so many positive things that outweigh the bad. The fetus starts babbling, then one day it talks to you. The fetus learns to roll, crawl, and one day it takes its first steps. And what a proud day for you, the owner of the fetus. My most cherished memory is of my fetus jumping in its crib, giggling with delight, when I would walk into the room after it had taken a nap. It was so excited to see me.

And how the time flies. In a few weeks, I’ll be dropping my fetus off at school for its first day of kindergarten. How bittersweet that will be.

Who knows? Before long, my fetus might go to college, meet that special someone, and have a fetus of its own.

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