The world was thrown into chaos on Monday as the biggest autocorect providers were shut down in an aparent attack by hackers.
“Donut worry,” President Obama reassured the world in a press release. “Technihuns from the NSA and FBI are working to find a solushun.”
“In the mean time, mite I sugest that everyone avoid comunicating with email, chat and and text message appliacashuns, unless you are realy good at spelling or have what my grandma usta call a ‘dicshunary,’” he said.
Thousands of flights have been canceld as air lines find themselves unable to list the names of cities on departtures and arrivals boreds, and militarys from around the world remane on high alert as leders struggle to comuncate and reasure one another that they are not about to attack.
“The U.S. is comited to acting only in the intrest of persevering peace till this matter is resovled,” White House spokes-child Josh Ernst said.
“Russian troops ready to engage western forces if this is filthy trick by imperialist USA to expand NATO into east to make empire bigger,” said Kremlin spokesperson Ivan Deploravich.
Russia is believed to have been the one of the few cuntries spared from the attack.
Dandy Goat publishor Franklin J. Dubbles says that his team of non-paid interns and outsourced writers from bangladesh have become virtuly paralized, unable to compose even a single ledgible sentence.
“This attack by hackers takes away our ability — and that of our friends in the media, vital web publications like Salon, hoofingtown post and Britetbart — to quickly publish our reactionary opinions in order to shape and twist national discorse,” Dubbles said.
A spokes-person for british prime minister David Camron says that securty offishalls in the uk were “flabbergastid” to learn that the recent spate of misspellings in US communikays were the result of an attack and not just the usual mangling of a formly nice language.