LEXINGTON, Kentucky — In what’s being hailed as a historic first, a lawyer is running for political office.
Alison Lundergan Grimes, a former practicing attorney from Kentucky, is the Democratic candidate to unseat Republican senator Mitch McConnell on November 4. Voters were shocked last year when Grimes announced her candidacy to compete in a field normally reserved for grocery store clerks and accountants.
Grimes says her move is in line with the vision the founding fathers set forth.
“Since we’re usually not hurting for money, we lawyers are the ideal citizen-politicians, those who can set down our plows to serve the public for a short time before returning to the private sector to become humble consultants,” she said. “If I end up getting elected, I’ll just stick around for six years, or twelve max, because I don’t want to be like Senator McConnell whose seat is literally caked with his butt sweat from 1984.”
“People think lawyers are only interested in getting clients acquitted and using fancy words to intimidate people, or asking judges to grant a last-minute this or that, but the truth is some of us have a secret interest in writing laws, too,” Grimes continued.
“You’d be surprised how many people have unusual interests,” she added. “Take my Mexican gardener, for example. He’s really into computers. And my secretary, well, she’s fanatical about tattoos. She’s got an awesome tat of a nude pin-up girl on her back, but you’d never know because she always wears a shirt to the office.”
Experts say that if Grimes gets elected, it will send a powerful message to lawyers everywhere who secretly desire to become a congressman.
“There are far too many nurses in office today,” said Seth Pikes, a research fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government. “They’re hogging all the seats. If Ms. Grimes gets elected, attorneys will know they don’t have to be afraid anymore. They can let their voices be heard.”