Miami-Dade County Judge William Feldspar ordered the case to be transferred to Dade County Juvenile Court, based on arguments presented by Bieber’s legal team that their client has the mental capacity of a child.
Bieber’s attorney Ray Bluck said the decision was fair given his client’s inability to communicate with adults and put on his own pants — as well as Bieber’s proclivity to urinate in mop buckets.
“Justice has prevailed,” Bluck said. “Now our hope is that the district attorney’s office will consider our client’s stunted intellectual development and hairless body and, out of pity for this kid, drop the charges altogether.”
Bieber was arrested Jan. 23 in Miami Beach after police spotted him behind the wheel of a Lamborghini Gallardo. Not recognizing the Canadian pop star, the patrolman on the scene requested the intervention of social services so that the youngster could be reunited with his parents.
The police report states that Bieber kicked and screamed before admitting he raided his manager’s liquor cabinet and stole the keys to the $250,000 car.
“Look at me, I go willy [sic] fast,” Bieber can be heard saying on the police recording of the incident.