WASHINGTON — Saying that we shouldn’t fear the COVID-19 virus, but rather that the COVID-19 virus should fear him, a recovered President Donald Trump has opened his mouth and inhaled all the virus particles in the entire country.
“Come here, you nasty germs,” he reportedly said moments before the feat at a press conference on Tuesday. “Let’s see you try to beat Papa Don’s iron lungs.”
Witnesses reported seeing a stream of particles many miles wide flew into Trump’s mouth as he deeply inhaled.
“I’m invincible,” he said following a loud burp.
Within minutes, several major media outlets were criticizing Trump, calling his move “brazen” and unfair to the Biden campaign, which was banking on the hope of the pandemic continuing until at least mid-November.
The Twitter hashtag #VirusLivesMatter also began trending, with activists blasting Trump for unfairly targeting a particular strain of SARS-CoV-2 when there are other viruses that pose a danger to Americans.