Mark Zuckerberg is being called everything from “a godsend” to “a really clever fellow.”
Amid growing complaints that parents are obnoxiously sharing too many photos of their young children, Facebook has announced effective next month, some users will be forced to migrate to Parentsbook.
Parentsbook will offer the same look and features of Facebook, but with a decidedly kids-centered feel to it. Users on this new social network will be able to share hundreds of photos of their babies — without driving their childless friends absolutely batshit insane.
Facebook administrators have already singled out the accounts that will be moved to Parentsbook, so there’s no need for users to opt in.
“We’re just going to go ahead and make this decision for everyone, for the good of the company and society,” said Facebook vice president Christine Hockman.
Parentsbook will sport extra features, for instance, the option to automatically “like” all the baby photos your friends upload, saving users from the dull task of clicking the like button for every visual proof of the baby’s “first whatever.”
Sociologist Martin von Dinkel, an expert on violence and aggression, says he is relieved to see social networks making an effort to deal with annoying shares. He says countless numbers of people are killed each year by smart phones thrown out of windows by childless people fed up with having to comment “that’s so cute” or “OMG adorable!” in response to seeing on their timelines photos of toddlers pooping into a plastic potty.