WASHINGTON — Aware that a newly elected Republican Senate majority will soon stymie his every move, top Democrats are urging President Obama to go into full rage mode.
“We call on President Obama to start tearing shit up,” said majority leader Harry Reid, D-Nev. “Fuck up Washington real good, so when those assholes take the oath of office in January, there won’t be nothing left, not even a copy of ‘Atlas Shrugged’ for them to swear on.”
The sentiment was echoed by Hillary Clinton, who remains the Democrat most likely to get her party’s nomination for the 2016 presidential race.
“Tell you what, Mr. President,” she said in an interview with NPR. “Think of how cocky [Republican minority leader] Mitch McConnell is right now, drunk off bourbon and strutting around like he owns you, then imagine wiping the smile off that smug prick’s face by dissolving Congress and razing the Capitol building to the fucking ground.”
A few prominent Democrats were calling for moderation, saying that while it’s perfectly normal if Obama orders airstrikes on the childhood home of Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, the president should avoid taking executive action to have Republican congressmen chained and paraded naked around the National Mall before allowing rabid spectators to beat them with sticks.
“Confiscate their property, imprison their relatives, and make them sing and dance to silly show tunes before the American people, sure,” said Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif. “But if you hold a mock trial in which you allow a hysterical mob calling themselves ‘a people’s tribunal’ to sentence them to death by firing squad, make sure the rifles are loaded with blanks, okay?”