Being female and having drinks in the presence of comedian Bill Cosby is highly correlated to suffering from delusions you are being drugged and molested by a man resembling Bill Cosby, according to a study.
Researchers from the William H. Cosby Center at Temple University have concluded from a weeks-long study that women who consume alcohol near Cosby or his personal effects often perceive things that are not real, sometimes constructing convincing but totally imaginary scenarios in which they are rendered incapacitated by drugs before being forced or intimidated into sex with someone resembling the star of the hit 80s sitcom “The Cosby Show.”
“We don’t know why these women are suffering from this delusion, but we do know that none of these so-called memories carry any crumbs of truth,” said psychologist Karl Benson, who has been the center’s William H. Cosby Fellow since 2009. “It’s possible that Mr. Cosby exudes some unique combination of pheromones, that when inhaled by women who have ingested alcohol, causes vivid hallucinations, making the women see and even feel all sorts of ridiculous things.”
“And anyway, why would someone as funny and rich as Mr. Cosby ever need to force himself on a woman?” Benson added. “I mean, wherever he goes, hot chicks are literally throwing themselves at him, begging to be taken into his bedroom to enjoy a private show of his long gag file.”
The study concludes that women who experience these delusions should not tell anyone, and they certainly should not go public with the fruit of their twisted minds. Doing so, it says, will open them up to ridicule and scorn, and these women’s spouses will probably seek a divorce upon learning they had such bizarre and truly perverted fantasies about a beloved and fatherly 77-year-old.