Dandy Goat

Falling forward faster



Best of the original Dandy Goat 2013-2016

College senior enlightens peers after four months abroad

Student enlightens peers about socialism
Megan Applebaum, senior history major at UNC – Chapel Hill

CHAPEL HILL, NC – University of North Carolina student Megan Applebaum, a senior history major, has been on a one-woman campaign to educate others ever since she returned from a semester of study in Aix-en-Provence, France.

“You guys can’t really understand the benefits of socialism,” she told a group of friends one evening over cheese and wine. “I mean, in Europe, things are so different. So good. Healthcare is free. College is free. Even condoms are free.”

When one of the guests, Erin Lotts, pointed out that someone must pay for these things, Megan shook her head. “You see? You see? That’s what I’m talking about. It’s so American of you to talk about money.”

Hollywood actors protest stereotyping of Hollywood actors as the types who protest stereotypes

george-clooneyDozens of A-list Hollywood actors gathered yesterday in Los Angeles to protest what they call the “unfair stereotypes about A-list celebrities.”

The group, comprising actors such as Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, and that guy from the 90’s sitcom about the tool salesman or whatever, have declared 2013 to be “The Year When We Say Enough Is Enough.”

“You watch our movies,” said one actor. “We make you laugh. We make you cry. We populate your weird fantasies about a hot-air balloon crash in the Andes. Yet Americans continue to stereotype us as the types of individuals who join trendy causes and protest stereotyping. Enough is enough.”