Information arranged visually, and with bright colors, so you do not have to think much, or at all
- Although Guzman’s nickname is “El Chapo” (Spanish for “Shorty”), at 5 feet, 6 inches tall, he’s not the shortest Mexican drug lord ever. That honor goes to Pepe “El Mosquito” Sanchez, head of the feared Chihuahua Cartel, who measured just over 18 inches tall when he was crushed to death in 1993 by a falling stack of dollar bills.
- After getting a degree in marijuana cultivation from the Instituto Tecnológico de Culiacán in 1974, Guzman began a doctoral program in drug distribution but was never awarded a PhD because he had his advisor murdered after suspecting him of overseeing another student’s dissertation.
- Guzman’s first attempt to launch his own cartel in 1979 failed when his marketing team persuaded him to adopt the slogan “Popeye el Marino esnifa la cocaina” (“Popeye the Sailor Man sniffs cocaine”) leading to a trademark infringement lawsuit filed by King Features that left Guzman bankrupt.
- Ten years of going door-to-door selling single puffs off joints and mere thimblefuls of cocaine ended when, in 1988, Guzman was a competitor in the television program “¿Quién Quiere Ser Un Capo Narco?” (“Who Wants To Be a Drug Lord?”). He won and became instantly famous. Troubles arose, however, when at the end of the second season he refused to give up his title. A judge ordered Guzman to give back the drug lord crown but instead of complying, he went on the run. The rest is history.
- Whenever Guzman learned through his network of informants that the police were hot on the trail, he would avoid arrest by cleverly disguising himself as a corrupt politician.
- During the 17 months he spent in prison after his capture in 2014, Guzman reportedly lived like a king. A king confined to a small prison cell, forced to use communal showers, eat crappy food, and wash his own clothes, but a king nonetheless.
- To his fans, Guzman symbolizes Robin Hood. Now why they think of a fearsome cartel boss as one who wears green tights and speaks English in a medieval Yorkshire accent is beyond us.
- While the precise date is up for debate, Guzman and his associates actually won the drug war sometime in the middle of the last decade.
While most Europeans are breathing a sigh of relief that an agreement has seemingly been reached to deal with Greece’s budget crisis — and ensure that the country adopt changes to avoid future shortfalls — Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras may have a hard time selling the deal to his fellow countrymen. Here are the stickier points of the Euro Summit Statement on Greece uncovered by the Dandy Goat.
- Greeks living in areas popular with tourists will have go into the street and do that Zorba the Greek circle dance at least once a day — and twice during summer months.
- The country’s ruling left-wing party Syriza must officially change its name to “Nifítsa,” which is Greek for “weasel.”
- Athens civil servant Nikos Lazibuttis, who has managed to remain on the Ministry of Culture payroll for 17 years without ever having a job description, must finally be given something to do.
- Pompous Greeks have to stop reminding everyone that they invented civilization, not to mention logic and philosophy, and probably a few dozen other little things.
- The age of retirement for hairstylists and those in other dangerous professions must be raised to at least 40.
- The Greek government must find a way to halt production of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding Part II,” slated to be unleashed upon an unsuspecting public in under a year.
- Islands of Mykonos, Kos, and Paros need to be renamed Merkelos, Hollandos, Draghios.
- The island of Lesbos is to be turned into a sex-tourism resort populated exclusively by beautiful bisexual women.
- Feta cheese producers are to give up 10% of their annual production to supply cafeterias at major European institutions.