Castro makes appearance, plugs Velveeta, is whisked away

Confusing supporters and critics alike, former Cuban president Fidel Castro showed up at a meeting of cheese experts in Havana on Friday and asked if he could say a few words, according to state television.

“When I make queso dip, I make sure to make it with Velveeta,” Castro said to stifled applause. “It’s easy. Just take one packet of Velveeta, mix it with some diced peppers and tomatoes in a microwave bowl, zap it for five minutes and bam, you’ve got it. Delicious, creamy queso dip, the perfect accompaniment for any sporting event.”

A personal assistant then wheeled Castro away, but not before allowing the 88-year-old ex-dictator to show off a Kraft-brand windbreaker.

This is the second of such appearances in the last three months. In April, Castro interrupted a radio program to rave about the “awesome” Chevrolet Silverado 1500, saying that it comes in an optional 6.2-liter V-8 model that gives a “butt-kicking 420 horsepower.”