Attack victim was ‘four percenter mistaken as one percenter’

four-percenter mistaken as one-percenter  funny spoof parodyEXETER, England — Police say a case of mistaken identity is to blame for an attack that occurred around 1 p.m. on Pinhoe Road. Alice McConnell was walking to a pie shop when two men began attacking her, calling her a “filthy one percenter” and saying they were going to squeeze her until she burst with the money she had stolen from “the people.” However, McConnell, a pediatric doctor who earns £72,000 ($119,000) per year, is not in the top one percent of earners in the UK. In fact, her income places her near the top four percent. While McConnell remains in hospital where she’s expected to fully recover, police are looking for the two assailants who are being described as young and male. Constable Paul Skelly says the attack goes to show the importance of verifying that someone is truly full of money before you try to squeeze it out. “Real one percenters earn twice as much as the victim of this unfortunate attack,” Skelly said. “And they certainly don’t eat at pie shops. I doubt Miss McConnell even had more than a tenner in her handbag when she was assailed.”


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