1. The sound of old people farting while noisily eating popcorn in a silent movie theater
Some beautiful women may find this a wee bit funny, but most regard it as unpleasant, even sad.
2. “Are your eyes real?”
This may sound like a nice thing to say, as it implies her eyes are so pretty they could be fake, but the truth is that most pretty women today do have at least one ocular prosthesis. No need to point out the obvious.
3. Dozens of cars honking, followed by screaming and gunfire, and then maybe a fork scraping a plate
These sorts of violent noises make attractive women feel very nervous.
4. “You’re very attractive.”
Again, it may seem like a compliment, but for reasons only an idiot can’t grasp, it’s actually an insult.
5. “Your father must be beautiful.”
Attractive women are sick of such trite flirtations.
6. Questions about modeling
For many gorgeous women, building model rockets is something that gives them shame, as it’s generally considered a hobby for nerdy adolescent boys. If she wants to tell you about her sweet new Estes Xarconian Cruiser, she will.
7. “Our plane is crashing.”
Even the most good-natured pretty women don’t like hearing those words.
8. Flattery about her genes
What are you, a geneticist? And what if 20 years down the road, she exhibits symptoms of some crippling genetically-inherited disease? How will you feel then about your platitudinous little remark, smartass?
9. “You’re very good at walking.”
We understand. Some women move with otherworldly balance and grace, and it makes sense you’d want to express admiration. But don’t. For some good-looking ladies, talking a casual stroll is indeed like doing the tightrope. The moment you make her self-conscious, she could fall on the sidewalk and break her wrist.