Trump picks Candy McKitten as Secretary of Office

Trump picks Candy McKitten as Secretary of Office WASHINGTON — Saying that he cannot work in an environment full of women who are merely competent in their jobs, President-elect Donald Trump has chosen Washington-area hottie Candy McKitten, 22, as secretary of office.

“Candy’s got what it takes to serve as my secretary of office: a beautiful face, a gorgeous body that’s just stunning in professional attire, manicured nails, and at the interview she kept calling me Mr. T,” Trump said. “I mean, how cute is that?”

Sources say that McKitten is not only nice to look at, but she also does that thing where she absentmindedly traces the outline of her full lips with a pen while reading emails, which is just, oh man.  

Former Secretary of Office Bunny Godwin, 46, who served under President Bill Clinton from 1993 to 1995, says that few people realize how difficult it is to work for a demanding  president.

“You can’t just be any sweet ass with a smile to match,” Godwin said. “You’ve got to be totally dedicated to your role. Come in with torn stockings or a cold sore and bam — you’re gone.”

McKitten graduated from Virginia Community College with an associate’s degree in psychology, according to her LinkedIn profile. In high school she was a varsity volleyball player and was voted by her senior class as Nicest Pair of Legs. For the last three years she has been practicing yoga, which insiders say was the deciding factor in giving her the job.