Trump holding rallies ‘just like Hitler did,’ says friend who watched WWII documentary

Trump is Hitler, says friend

Nazi leader Adolf Hitler (left) and U.S. president-elect Donald Trump (right) have strikingly similar jawlines, according to experts.

Donald Trump, the nation’s recently ascended führerpreneur, has been holding victory rallies just like Adolph Hitler did in the 1930s, according to a friend who just last week watched the first part of a really good History Channel documentary about World War II.

“Look at Trump standing there on a stage, talking in a microphone while his supporters cheer like a bunch of Nazis,” said David McGovern, 28, watching a video clip of Thursday’s Ohio event. “That’s right out of the Hitler playbook, you know, say things that crowds want to hear, make them start clapping and whooping — some real Third Reich shit. Gives me the chills.”

“Look man, anyone with an elementary knowledge of history knows Trump’s next move will be to order his people to wear colored armbands so they can all recognize each other, then he’s going to make them swear allegiance to him,” McGovern said. “That is, if go with the example set by Hitler, which we should because he’s the most known and hated dictator in modern history, which makes my shaky claims all the more resonant.”

“And Steve Bannon is Goebbels, not that I’d expect you to know who Goebbels is, but if you watch this documentary, you’ll totally understand,” he added.

McGovern went on to predict that after his January inauguration, Trump will dispatch his brownshirts to beat up Vox readers, smash the windows of locally owned organic food shops, and make large, fraudulent takeaway orders to Mexican restaurants.

Editor’s note: After minutes of extensive Googling, we confirm that this article contains the first documented usage of the the word “führerpreneur,” which means that those letters, in that order, belong to us. Any unauthorized or otherwise uncredited use of “führerpreneur” will result in expressions of severe disapproval.