Self-conscious woman more disliked than she fears

nursewomanANCHORAGE, Alaska — Carla Goodlett, a soft-spoken school nurse, is disliked by those around her even more than her deep insecurity compels her to fear.

While she worries that her squeaky voice and infrequent attempts to join conversations annoy her colleagues, the truth is that staff at Chugiak Elementary School find these traits the least offensive things about her.

While it’s difficult for her colleagues to say what is most unlikable about her, several teachers cite Goodlett’s infuriatingly predictable habit of deflecting attention to topics other than herself.

Another reason for others’ extreme dislike is the certainty that when she blows her nose, she’ll walk into empty room to do it, as if others “don’t notice that she’s an overflowing cauldron of infectious ugly viruses,” said the Ryan Mannon, the gym teacher.

Goodlett also displays an irksome tendency to inquire about the well-being of others’ children and spouses, when in fact it’s none of her damn business.

Negative feelings about Goodlett are so strong that several teachers wish to harm her, such as Sandy Wu, the school counselor and the one person Goodlett erroneously believes can tolerate her.

“If she ever smiles and says ‘good morning’ at me again, I’ll kill her, I swear it,” Wu said.

Dr. Francine Dahlgren, the principal at the elementary school, desperately wants to get rid of Goodlett but doesn’t think she’d be able to stomach the short conversation required to tell the the school nurse she’s fired.

“She’d probably say something awful like, ‘I understand Francine, I really do,'” Dahlgren said. “Ugh.”