Researcher gets 20 hipsters to give each other oral herpes

first kiss video Tatia Pilieva herpes mono virus funny spoof parodyLOS ANGELES — In what is being hailed as an ingenious science experiment, a researcher from the Center for Disease Control asked 20 strangers to give each other oral herpes in front of a camera.

Dr. Tatia Pilieva, a specialist in virology and microbiology, wanted to know how willing randomly-paired, attractive people would be to pass each other viruses — if someone with a camera ordered them to do so.

“I gave a short presentation about diseases that are spread by kissing,” Pilieva said. “Then everyone drew a slip of paper to get their partner, which was interesting because a gay gentleman got matched with a woman, and a straight fellow ended with a gay man.”

“I turned on the camera and I was like, okay, kiss each other,” Pilieva said.

When the participants hesitated, she changed her tone.

“I barked, ‘Swap your spit, people,’” she said.

Within seconds, all of the participants were passionately infecting each other, proving Pilieva’s hypothesis that people are willing to share viruses like herpes simplex and Epstein-Barr as long as an authority figure gives the order.

Another important discovery Pilieva has made is that hipsters are no more free-thinking than others, and if anything, they are more willing to conform to the actions of their thin, fashionable peers.

“I thought at least one person would protest,” Pilieva said. “No wonder diseases are breaking out all over the place.”

The experiment was so successful, Pilieva said, that she is already planning another in which she teaches 20 strangers about salmonella — and then orders them to eat raw, undoubtedly rotten chicken.

Watch the science experiment below: