Party that nominated moody crime boss perplexed why campaign failed

Party that nominated moody crime boss baffled why campaign failed Registered members of the political party that wittingly chose an unconvicted felon as its presidential nominee are demanding to know how they managed to lose the race to a tacky reality TV star who frequently makes spelling mistakes in his tweets.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” says Joseph Puglia, 43, a physical therapist from New York. “Hillary Clinton is universally loved, if you ignore the large segment of the population that harbors an intense, decades-long loathing of her callousness, duplicity and arrogance.”

“How could a smart, savvy politician with 30 years of service under her belt get bested by an angry orange jester with no political experience and who overuses superlatives at every turn?” asked Denise White, 32, a yoga instructor from Kentucky. “It’s not like Clinton’s private server that was used to hide influence peddling at the highest levels of government to get her philandering husband fat paychecks from foreign governments is any worse than what we must assume Trump would have done, under the same circumstances.”

“Mrs. Clinton possesses more integrity in her drooping jowls than that clown of a candidate has in his whole body and those of all the women he’s fondled,” said Rob Fogerty, 52, a social studies teacher from Oregon. “If you just put aside the fact that she’s at the top of a global money-laundering scheme and that she’s given private speeches to Wall Street banks in which she boasts about lying to the public, she’s very trustworthy.”

Supporters of Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), who lost to Clinton in the Democratic primaries, have offered to cast light on the enigma, but at the time this article was posted they were being asked to please keep their traps shut.