NEW YORK — Executives at Fox News have confirmed they successfully recruited Trevor Noah, just hours after it was revealed that the South African comic has been authoring racist and misogynistic tweets since as early as 2009.
“We’re always looking for a fresh bigoted face to join ‘Fox and Friends,’ whether the bigot is homegrown or from a faraway country like Africa,” said Brian McVoy, who leads Fox’s recruitment office. “So when we found out that Mr. Noah was not only racist, but enjoys making crude jokes that are really demeaning to women as well, we swore we would spare no expense to get him on our team.”
Executives at Comedy Central, who on Monday announced that Noah was going to replace Jon Stewart on the “Daily Show,” have since retracted their statements, saying that the confusion was due to a typographical error.
“We had meant to say that we were considering Noah Trevor, the witty but unknown 54-year-old retail clerk from London, and not Trevor Noah, the 31-year-old South African comic who specializes in offensive low-brow humor that’s totally unsuitable for the educated types who make up the bulk of the ‘Daily Show’ viewership,” said producer Rachel Tulipe. “Our bad.”
Noah has not yet responded to request for an interview, but his publicist said that in any case he refuses to grant interviews to Jews — or anyone smelling like one.
Below are some of the offending tweets. They have been analyzed by our in-house outrage expert Richard Omega, who said that in the Official Outrage Scale of 0-10, most only merit a paltry 3 or 4.
A hot white woman with ass is like a unicorn. Even if you do see one, you'll probably never get to ride it.
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) November 28, 2011
I'm watching Olympic women's hockey. It's like lesbian porn. Without the porn. #InLove
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) July 31, 2012
Messi gets the ball and the real players try foul him, but Messi doesn't go down easy, just like jewish chicks. #ElClasico
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) January 25, 2012
"Oh yeah the weekend. People are gonna get drunk & think that I'm sexy!" – fat chicks everywhere.
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) October 14, 2011