McDonald’s reassures customers McRib is ‘100 percent real human rib meat’

McDonald's releases the secret ingredients to its McRibs - parody, spoof Facing mounting skepticism about the ingredients that go into McRib sandwiches, McDonald’s has launched a campaign to reassure the public about the quality of its famed item.

“There’s nothing unusual or unnatural about our McRibs,” said VP of Product Quality Chris Conner in a recent video. “It’s just human flesh, water, salt, dextrose, and common preservatives, which lock in the flavors.”

Internet rumors had fueled speculation the sandwiches were made in part from the same “pink slime” that critics say is used in the company’s hamburger patties, while others wondered if McRib meat was a mixture of leftover pieces of beef, pork and chicken. The biggest question was why the textureless patties look like a small rack of ribs, even though they contain no bones.

“Serving an actual rack of human ribs is not practical, for us or the customer,” Conner said. “Not only do bones take up a lot of space and require more eco-unfriendly packaging, but they are heavy and add up to thousands of more tons of fuel burned in transportation. Also, some hungry customers could actually choke on the bones.”

“We take 100-percent human rib meat, grind it up, add salt water and preservatives, shape the patties using a standard rib mold, flash freeze them, and then ship them off to McDonald’s restaurants where they are cooked to perfection and served on a toasted bun with our tasty barbeque sauce,” he said.

The decision to go public with its formerly top-secret method has been met with approval from the company’s millions of social media followers, with one adoring Twitter user saying he would immediately go out and buy 100 McRib sandwiches out of a show of support.