PIEDRAS NEGRAS, Mexico — A 45-year-old farmer from the north of the country was rushed to the hospital earlier this week after sustaining injuries when he let a venomous snake enter his ass hole.
The hole, a six-foot-deep covered pit that Fernando Diaz-Culo sometimes uses as a stable for his burros, measures forty feet in diameter and contains water and feeding troughs.
After leaving his boots unattended while airing his feet on Monday, Diaz-Culo found that a snake had taken up residency in one of them. Not wanting to kill the legless reptile, he dumped it out and it promptly slithered into his dark ass hole.
Fearful that the snake would spook the burros, Diaz-Culo ventured into the pit to retrieve it, but it was too late. Diaz-Culo received numerous kicks to the head and chest, knocking him unconscious.
A family friend later identified the snake as a Mojave rattler, whose bite is considered the most venomous among rattlesnakes.
“I can’t believe [Diaz-Culo] let such a dangerous snake into his ass hole, because he’s really protective of it, even if it does need a good cleaning,” said Rafael Nargas, who lives nearby. “One time, when it was empty, I wanted to put one of my roosters into it, just for a few hours until it calmed down and stopped fighting with the others.”
“But Fernando saw me and got all angry, came running out of his house and said, ‘Never put a cock in my ass hole.’”
Dandy Goat Latin America correspondent Ricardo Ultimo says that this was the second time this month that a resident of the state of Coahuila has been injured in such a freak incident involving a donkey. In May, a bus driver left his vehicle to shoo away a burro that was blocking traffic. The angry quadruped reared up on its hind legs and delivered a powerful blow, what the driver later described as “one hell of a ferocious donkey punch.”