Man contracts Zika by having sex with mosquito

 

Man contracts Zika by having sex with mosquito HOUSTON — A libertine Texas man is the first confirmed case of the Zika virus being transmitted via sexual contact with a vector.

The unnamed victim allegedly carried on a short relationship with a 42-day-old Aedes aegypti, also known as a yellow fever mosquito, according to the Texas Department of Health.

“He met the vector on Craigslist, and after spending two sweaty days and nights together in a Motel 6, the victim began suffering from fever, rashes and joint pain, so he opened the window and asked the mosquito to leave,” says health official Bernadetta Malady.  

“We’ve been accused of having a puritanical streak in Texas, but this just goes to show that unprotected sex with any ectoparasitic invertebrate is never safe,” she said. “It doesn’t matter how clean a mosquito’s slender proboscis looks, or how sweet a mosquito sings its little mosquito song.”

A former girlfriend of the victim told the Dandy Goat’s interspecies sex correspondent Molly Lee Bidinous that the victim always showed an unusual interest in insects, and that he was particularly attracted to mosquitos because he considered them “exotic and dangerous.”

“He used to beg me to buzz in his ear, then prick him every so slightly with a tiny needle,” she said. “We broke up when he asked me to lose 50 pounds, have my nose surgically extended into a sharp point, and consume nothing but his own blood.”

As of Wednesday, state health officials have been unable to locate the carrier mosquito, but it is suspected that it may have died while attending an orgy that was held over the weekend in suburban Houston bug zapper.