Local man can’t help but to worry about those topless women in Ukraine

FEMEN2SAN ANTONIO — Marco Estrada, a trainer at X-Band Call Center, is growing increasingly worried about the deteriorating situation in Ukraine.

“It’s really terrible, when you think about all that country has gone through,” the 29-year-old Estrada said, speaking about the recent clashes between protesters and the government. “The rigged elections a few years ago, rampant corruption, that blonde woman with the cute braided hair getting locked up, and now this.”

“I can’t help but to worry about all those pretty, topless women I used to read about,” Estrada said, referring to Femen, the feminist group founded in Ukraine whose members are known to appear nude in public. “I wonder how they’re doing. Their message is really important, and I hope they’re not being forgotten in all the chaos.”

Estrada says he spends many nights unable to sleep, fearful that something bad might have happened to members of the group who bravely fight to dismantle the patriarchy by attacking oppressive institutions like religion, prostitution and government.

“Are those women still alive?” Estrada said. “Are they still topless? I hope Ukraine’s brutal police force didn’t throw them in some cold, dank cell where their poor pink nipples might be painfully hard.”

Estrada says he’d like to look at photos on the internet of Femen protests, so that his heartstrings might be sufficiently pulled to be compelled to donate money to the organization. However, he’s too afraid that his wife and children might discover his browsing history and not understand his concern.