Harambe the gorilla miraculously appears in Cincinnati sky

 

Harambe miraculously appears in clouds in Cincinnati skyProviding further evidence that there is life after life in captivity, on Monday thousands of residents of Cincinnati observed a cloud that strongly resembled Harambe, the gorilla killed by city zoo officials on Saturday after a child fell into the animal’s enclosure.

Godwina Eamerson, a Briton who had travelled to Cincinnati for an international gathering of environmentalists, says that she first spotted the ghostly cloud as her private jet landed at the nearby airport.  

“I knew in an instant that the simian in the sky was Harambe, and that he chose to appear to comfort us in our time of hurt,” she said. “Whilst he may no longer be alive, he will remain alive in our hearts forever, just as Cecil the leopard, or giraffe, or whichever animal he was.”

Dandy Goat science expert Richard Omega says that he is not surprised by the apparition of the beloved ape.

“According to a movie I once saw, the human soul weighs approximately 12 ounces — or pounds, I can’t remember — so we can only assume that Harambe’s soul is significantly weighter, him being a large mammal and all,” he said. “And considering that most of our body mass comes from water, when we die, that water logically combines with soul matter and rises to form steam, often retaining the appearance we had in life.”

Cincinnati mayor John Craneneck says that the cloud is a sign that he and city council members must work quickly to provide funding for a 60-foot banana sculpture to be built in Eden Park and dedicated to Harambe.  

“I drew a rough sketch on a napkin on the way to work today, just to give an idea of how the giant banana will look when it’s mounted on the concrete base,” he said. “I’m thinking that should be made of bronze. My brother-in-law is a sculptor. He’d be great. Let’s not dillydally.”

“I hereby declare May 29 as Harambe Day,” he added.

Some witnesses contend that Harambe was not alone in the sky, but that he was accompanied by a man who resembled the late primate scholar George Taylor. Others, however, say that the second face is looks more like the actor who played Ben-Hur.