Group defends right to watch celebrities having sex

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Paulina Cuttle says despite the ease with which leaked celebrity sex videos can be found online, courts need to provide legal protection for people who want to watch them in the privacy of their own homes.

In what freedom of information advocates are calling a blow to their cause, a French court has ordered Google to remove links to videos and photos of a 2008 S&M orgy involving ex-Formula 1 boss Max Mosley.

The ruling gives precedence to Mosley’s privacy over the public’s right to enjoy watching the now-73-year-old get spanked by a woman dressed as a Nazi guard.

The decision is being vehemently derided as a silly perversion of justice based on “a single old nutter’s quaint ideas that grainy videos of his saggy bum don’t belong equally to the public,” say people currently downloading the video before the ruling takes effect.

“The real loser in this story is everybody,” said Dr. Paulina Cuttle, head of the UK-based Let Us See, an organization dedicated to protecting the right to watch famous people have sex.

“It’s not just the sex tape of Mr. Mosley that concerns us,” Cuttle said, “even if we do rather enjoy watching him flog that plump lady dressed in prison garb.”

“Our goal,” Cuttle said, “is to ensure that everyone, in all parts of the world, has the right to enjoy leaked sex videos in the privacy of their own homes.”

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Max Mosley contends that we, as adults, don’t have a right to watch footage of him engaging with other people in the widespread practice of sex.

Google’s lawyers had argued to the Tribunal de Grande Instance in Paris that Mosley’s request to block the search engine from providing links to the video was a “legal aberration” that goes against the public’s “natural right to see how the world’s elite go about having multiple orgasms.”

“We don’t mind if celebrities watch us and our friends having safari-themed orgies, do we?” Cuttle said. “Of course not. So they needn’t feel offended if on a Friday night, I want to relax, open of bottle of good red wine and watch Kim Kardashian and Ray J going at it.”