Everyone magically an expert on Ukraine, Russia, aircraft, missiles

MH17 Malaysia airlines crash parody spoof articleLONDON — A plane crash in Ukraine has suddenly given half the world’s population a profound knowledge of complex subjects.

According to reports, pretty much everyone is now an expert on the history of Russia and Ukraine, passenger aircraft, the Cold War, both World Wars and the Buk surface-to-air missile system.

Observers say up to one-third of the world’s population is mysteriously proficient enough in the basics of air traffic control to give an hour-long lecture on the subject, while no less than a quarter of people are now qualified to teach a graduate-level course on Soviet field artillery.

Landon Nelson, author of ten books on supernatural phenomena, says this mass illumination ranks number one on his list of unexplained mysteries.

“For the life of me, I don’t understand why all my friends are suddenly able to explain in detail how this crash with lead to a third World War, but they are,” Nelson said. “The only thing I can figure is this plane was carrying magic smart powder, and it got spread all over the world by jet streams.”

“We live in strange times,” he added. “In the past, people had to get a PhD in a subject like jet propulsion before they were even allowed to talk about it with family members, let alone co-workers and strangers, but nowadays, all you have to do is breathe the air and watch CNN for ten minutes to be considered a specialist.”