Edward Snowden relieved to be given a new shirt

edward_snoden_shirtMOSCOW — In an interview with Russia Today, NSA leaker Edward Snowden said he’s delighted to have been given a new shirt and glasses for Christmas.

“[Russian President] Vladimir Putin and the Russian people have been overwhelmingly kind in allowing me to take refuge in your country,” Snowden said. “You have given me food and shelter, as well as costly around-the-clock security to prevent me from being killed or kidnapped by the U.S. government. For those gifts, I am very grateful.”

“However,” he said, “what I really wanted for a long time was a new shirt. The one I’d been wearing for six months was really beginning to stink.”

“I also wanted some new glasses,” he added. “The ones I had were all scratched.”

Snowden’s father Lonnie sent him a Christmas package that contained the two desired items, as well as a knit scarf and some ginger cookies made by Snowden’s stepmother.