Bitcoin inventor grants interview, urges calm, disappears

Bitcoin inventor interview real name photograph funny jokeSatoshi Nakamoto, the pseudonymous inventor of Bitcoin, gave a rare interview on CNBC Wednesday, aiming to calm the volatile currency’s skittish investors.

“Forget all that chatter in the media about governments wanting to clamp down on Bitcoin purchases, or about prominent exchanges suddenly closing up and disappearing with millions of bitcoins,” Nakamoto, speaking in an androgynous and vaguely robotic voice, told host Melissa Lee.

“Forget what your gut tells you about investing in a trendy cryptocurrency invented by an anonymous genius, the value of which is derived from computational mathematics that, even with years of study, you could scarcely understand,” said Nakamoto.

“Forget that the mysterious creation of Bitcoin, and the subsequent rush, sounds more like the plot of a James Bond movie than a sound opportunity for investment,” Nakamoto added. “And everything will be just fine.”

Nakamoto then disappeared in flash of green smoke, causing the frightened host to emit a fart.

It is rumored that Nakamoto possesses at least a million units of the digital currency, valued today at around 600 hundred million dollars. However, it is important to note there’s nothing strange about that.

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