Beyond manspreading: the 10 most obnoxious things men do

Manspreading, mansplaining and manterrupting: the 10 most obnoxious things men doWhether they’re mansplaining, manspreading all over the subway, or manterrupting you in the middle of a music award acceptance speech, men get away with all sorts of abominable behavior. Here are the 10 most obnoxious things men do.

1. Manstanding

They just have to let you know they’re taller than you.

2. Manchewing

Masticating a steak like some animal with an insatiable manpetite. Now we remember why smoothies were invented.

3. Manopausing

He’s about to say something, but he forgets mid-sentence, and then he stands there like some ape, mouth agape, and you’re supposed to just wait for him to remember?

4. Manworking

Whether it’s construction or garbage collection, there he is with that in-your-face physicality, all tool-wielding and soiled clothes. And do they really need to shout when they say, “Back up the truck so we can load this cement mixer”?

5. Manhanding

As if you hadn’t noticed that you’d left your purse at the cash register.

6. Manpeeing

We know they’re in there. Standing. Mocking our need to sit down. Strutting like preening peacocks.

7. Mansmiling

Puffing out their oh-so-rugged jaws and flashing their teeth.

8. Mandescending

Your car won’t start so you look for a suitably handy-looking male to weigh in. He pops the hood and barks in a sexist voice, “Looks like someone stole your battery.” Like you didn’t already know that.

9. Mandancing

Literally shaking the dancefloor like a rutting rhino with a line of fire ants crawling up his ass. We know how to develop into lithe creatures, so why don’t they?

10. Manalyzing

There he is offering to calculate the tip, the neural networks of his “larger” brain firing angrily, trying to show off his bulging frontal lobe.