‘Avatar’ sequel postponed until public less squeamish about Na’vi sex

Avatar II: Mating Season (sequel)Fans of the 2009 science-fiction blockbuster “Avatar” will have to wait until 2017 for “Avatar II: Mating Season” — or at least until audiences can sit through the steamy sex scenes of the Na’vi humanoids without squirming and getting all red in the face, says director James Cameron.

The famed visionary behind “Titanic” and the “Terminator” franchise conducted 3D test screenings of a short film of the 10-foot-tall, blue creatures engaged in lovemaking. In almost every instance, audiences began to fidget before breaking out into fits of nervous giggling.

Cameron says that although Na’vi intercourse might seem funny to some viewers, mature moviegoers will appreciate the natural beauty of a male and female Na’vi wrapping their tendril-like braids around each other in passionate bliss. Still, Cameron admits that for an “Avatar” sequel to be commercially successful, he needs to wait for audiences to “grow up” and “stop acting like fifth graders watching a sex education video for the first time.”

Cameron says there’s no reason why a member of the audience should find Na’vi sex uncomfortable to watch.

“The Na’vi people, much due to their physical strength and perfect features, have otherworldly but totally natural sex,” Cameron said of the fictional inhabitants of the moon Pandora. “They don’t need pills and gadgets like Earthlings do, and in fact, they’ve got so much stamina that they go at it for days, without even taking a break to nibble on some ptlrer bread or drink the nectar of a giant yiwi flower.”

“And when Na’vi women orgasm, they howl with the force of a thousand she-wolves, and it goes on for hours,” he said. “It’s like the whole of Pandora undulates with the Na’vi woman’s quivering, a phenomenon that in the Na’vi language is called vlolting, and it’s so titillating that upon sensing it, most Na’vi men will drop what they’re doing and begin to shag the nearest sentient being, or lacking that, the nearest tree.”

“And I won’t get into what happens when the men get off,” Cameron added. “But I will tell you this: there’s a reason why Pandoran rivers overflow with iridescent blue goo during the Na’vi mating season.”