10 things hairdressers hate hearing

10 Things Hairdressers Hate Hearing - parody, spoof, satire Gone are the days when the most annoying thing a hairdresser could hear is a totally bald customer asking to leave the sides long. Here are the top 10 things hairdressers today hate hearing.

“Was that your grey Honda Civic that I saw getting towed?”

-Sandra, Houston, Texas

The amplified sound on a pair of 30-inch speakers of an elderly customer whistling through her nostrils a polka version of Nicki Minaj’s “Starships.”

-Octavia, Portland, Oregon

“I swear, you look just like someone I murdered in my dream last night.”

-Brenda, Farmington, New Mexico

“It’s raining.”

-Alice, Sheffield, England

“Someone using a jackhammer while shouting at you in a Germanic language and saying all sorts of terrible things about your loved ones.”

-Mark, Evanston, Illinois

“A team of OSHA inspectors showing up in hazmat suits and saying, ‘Shut this place down, it’s crawling with plague-infested rodents.’”

-Nico, Los Angeles, California

“Looks like we’re about to be robbed.”

-Christian, Macon, Georgia

“I should have told you before you started inhaling them, but my follicles are covered in the Ebola virus.”

Yvette, Paris, France

“The building’s on fire, and someone has barricaded the door.”

-Amy-Lynn, Sacramento, California

“Did I say ‘wash my hair’? I meant to say, ‘Don’t wash my hair.’ I’m allergic to soap and I’ll go into anaphylactic … oh, I … can’t breath.”

-Max, Melbourne, Australia